(Note: I am using the Day One question for today because I do not know what to write about.)
I consider myself an open person, and I have answered many questions about my past (rocky), my bipolar disorder (not as dramatic as the media would have it), my current life (could use a little more excitement), and small talk (“I’m fine, enjoying Spring Break, how are you?”) But there is one question I can’t stand being asked:
“Are you sure?”
Listen, if I wasn’t sure, I would say ‘I think’ or ‘I’m not sure, but’. Otherwise, if I say it, I’m sure of it. This doesn’t mean that I’m right, but that I believe I’m right. Just like the other person believes they’re right. We will not resolve this argument by assuming I’m wrong. Or assuming they’re wrong. When I’m sure I’m right and you’re sure you’re right, that’s the time to do research, not get into a battle.
There are probably some circumstances where “Are you sure?” is not a passive-aggressive gambit. As an exclamation of disbelief — Ok, that’s a passive-aggressive gambit; never mind. But this gives me insight. The reason I don’t like “Are you sure?” is that to me it basically says “I don’t believe you” dressed up in Granny’s polka-dotted dress1. Oh, so nice and dismissive.
What do I prescribe instead?
“I understand differently. Let’s find out.”
- Think of Mrs. Beasley (a doll) in Family Affair (1966). If this is before your time, search for “Mrs. Beasley”.
Words Like Me 