Sleep can be a bad thing

I could be getting depressed.

Depression doesn’t start with a fall off a cliff into despair. Sometimes it starts with a desire to sleep and keep sleeping, a malaise, a disinterest in doing things.

Depression creeps in slowly. The long nap becomes the weepy day becomes the “it has always been bad and it will always be bad”.

Photo by Zachary DeBottis on Pexels.com

I am prone to depression, especially at this time of year. I have bipolar II, which is a mood disorder that results in depression and hypomania. (Hypomania we’ll leave for another day; today is about depression). As I’ve said, one of the symptoms is sleeping a lot, and I slept most of yesterday away.

Depression is dangerous. When one gets to the point where “it has always been bad and it will always be bad”, suicide seems like a reasonable response. It is not, of course; it solves the problem but also kills the person.

I have been in dangerous depressions. They are fewer than they were because I am on good medication. But those don’t work 100% so I have to monitor myself for depressive episodes. Right now is one of those times.

2 thoughts on “Sleep can be a bad thing

  1. I have slept more and more deeply this winter than in years. I’m prone to depression – SAD mostly, and it always lifts somewhat around February or March. I’m also a bit of an insomniac, so I’m hoping that in some ways, I keep the better sleep part of the funk, even as my spirits rise.

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    1. I track my sleep for my psychiatrist because too much sleep for two weeks means a depression; not enough sleep for two weeks generally means hypomania. Luckily, I seem to have gotten through my hibernation, although with these wind chills (-20 this morning) I might consider hibernating again.

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