Day 1 Lenten Meditation: Prayer

I’ll be honest — I don’t understand prayer anymore.

By “anymore”, I mean “not since I got put on medication for bipolar disorder. I have bipolar II, and my prayer life spun between being elated and feeling like I had a pipeline to our perception of God, and being depressed and praying in vain. Things are evened out, and my logical mind has taken over and made me question praying.

Does God grant our prayers? I wonder what happens when two football teams pray for a victory. Does God pick his favorite team? Does God bribe the referees? Choose the team that prayed the best?

If God grants our prayers, we rejoice that our prayers are granted. If God does not, we don’t say a thing. 

I’m not completely skeptical about prayer, though. I think prayer helps us find something within ourselves, strength or comfort or acceptance. I think that prayer fortifies us to help us face an unfair and unfriendly world. 

And prayer helps me find my keys in the mornin.

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