I wish I had more patience.
I’m playing the long game, wanting to be traditionally published. And it’s a long game, because the market is glutted with people like me who want to be published. The market is fickle, as it wants to pick books without risk. And the market is shrinking, because there are fewer readers.
I have invested a lot in my books. Developmental edits, beta reading, and sometimes massive rewritings. I’m now at a point where I don’t think I can improve them any more. (I could, of course, be wrong). I have gone through cycles of rejection, and I don’t know if I can go through it again.
But I do, because I have optimism. Every morning I wake up believing that my life could change in one day. I’ve heard enough stories where someone’s life changes tragically in one moment; I believe it’s just as likely that my life can change for the better. So as long as I have my works in the hands of agents and publishers, I can hope.